How to Have an affair--with yourself...
By John Frycek, Creator of Iselfify
In this article, I explore a theory that has become a central tenet of my personal philosophy: the importance of engaging in a deeply personal, introspective journey that I like to describe as having an "affair with oneself." This concept isn't about romantic infidelity, but rather about the profound journey of self-discovery and self-love that's often overlooked in the relentless pace of everyday life.
Life's Unwritten Manual
Life, as I've come to understand it, doesn't come with a manual. We're born into a world of established norms and expectations and spend our lives navigating these pre-set paths. In doing so, we often overlook the chapters of our own story – those that are filled with our personal dreams, desires, and unique identity.
Compartmentalized Existence and Self-Neglect
I've observed how we typically segment our lives into distinct categories: work, family, and personal time. Yet, more often than not, it's the personal time that gets sacrificed. This isn't just a loss of leisure; it's a gradual erosion of our identity and potential for personal growth.
The Bouncing Ball Syndrome
Living a life constantly reacting to external demands often feels like chasing a bouncing ball. Whether it's family responsibilities, work pressures, or societal expectations, I realized that amidst this chaos, what often gets neglected is the self – the inner voice and true identity.
The Modern World's Distraction
In today's fast-paced, digitally-driven world, finding time for self-reflection has become even more challenging. The constant barrage of information and connectivity can lead to a detachment from our inner selves, further alienating us from our true desires and aspirations.
The Journey of Self-Reflection
This is where the idea of having an affair with oneself gains importance. It’s about consciously turning inward, engaging in an honest dialogue with oneself. It's about asking the critical questions: "What do I truly want? What makes me genuinely happy?" It's a journey of rediscovering passions and aspirations that may have been overshadowed by the demands of external roles.
Balancing the Self with Society
This theory doesn't advocate for a life devoid of societal responsibilities. Instead, it proposes a balance – acknowledging and fulfilling our roles in society while ensuring that our personal aspirations and needs aren't neglected. It's about finding fulfillment in both personal achievements and societal contributions.
Life as a Continuum of Learning
I view life as a continuous journey of learning, healing, and evolving. Mistakes are opportunities for growth, and self-compassion is essential. Pursuing personal fulfillment is not just a right, but a necessity for a well-rounded life.
Conclusion: Embracing the Self
Engaging in this affair with oneself is a never-ending process. It's about maintaining a constant, introspective dialogue with oneself. It's a commitment to personal growth and happiness, recognizing that while we play roles in the larger society, we also have our own unique desires and dreams. To live a truly fulfilled life, it's crucial not only to exist but to actively engage with and understand our deepest selves.
